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This should go without saying but disclaimer: The information provided below is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, medical, or other professional advice. This article in particular, because any potential decision to proceed ahead despite assertions of rights in highly risky. You should consult with a qualified professional for specific advice tailored to your circumstances.

If you’re interested learning more about this topic, handling people problems is very relevant, or you can find all of our courses here.

Here’s the situation

You’ve scheduled a meeting, you’ve put it in writing. They’ve had ‘enough time’ to organise a support person, but they don’t have one. What do?

It is tempting to be relieved that they have turned up unsupported. But as discussed in those other articles (here and here) representatives can be constructive and helpful, not always problematic. So sure, feel relieved, but don’t assume: representation = bad, no representation = good.

Read here for when representatives seek to delay.

First step: ask them.

Make sure you always check. “You’re here by yourself, but you did have the option to bring someone. Are you comfortable with this?” These are the common responses and situations:

-Not comfortable, but didn’t organise. This could cover a wide range of reasons (didn’t ask, didn’t think, or stopped at the first barrier, e.g. mother was busy). If the employee had sufficient opportunity to organize but essentially has not used the opportunity, then it is generally reasonable to proceed without them.

Note there is a lot of assumptions in ‘sufficient’- this is primarily how much time (e.g. at least 3 days), but there are also other factors- e.g. how easy or hard was it to find someone (e.g. they work remotely, work nightshift, vs there is a union rep on shift at the moment). By didn’t, I mean it was very possible to organise, but their lack of active pursuit of the outcome has resulted in them not having someone with them.

-Not comfortable, but couldn’t organise. Similar to above, but this is where they have put effort in to get someone with them, but this wasn’t able to be achieved. For example, their uncle is the person they need, but he can’t make it with three days’ short notice.

Read here for some deeper thinking on disciplinaries.

- Comfortable, but likely out of their depth. There are a few reasons for such overconfidence. Some employees are really in flight (or fight) mode, are young, and/or not in a good space to deal with a difficult situation. Sometimes people just don’t fundamentally believe there will be consequences other than a growling. But; your gut instincts are telling you they are unlikely to handle the situation well.

-Comfortable and capable. They understand, that can handle it by themselves. Fair enough.

-Comfortable, capable, but could be worried. Everyone is an experienced expert in managing their own life, and everyone navigates conflict situations on a regular basis. But formal meeting like this are rare. Often people think them can handle things by themselves, but worry they can’t.

Read here for more on how HR’s role can be to protect justice.

Your options

So what can you do when they turn up unsupported?

-Adjourn so they can have someone. This could ‘split the room’ of readers; some of you will do this automatically, some of you would never do this. This can be done, and is suitable depending on the above- if the person tried, couldn’t, and really needs help, it’s worth it. But if they don’t, or didn’t bother, then it’s probably not necessary. But only adjourn IF there is a plan, a specific alternative; who’s coming, and when can they make it. A blanket extension (‘we will give you 3 more days’) is likely to end up in the same situation.

Read here for the risk of escalation.

-Proceed. If they don’t want support, then we have no problem. If they do, but you’ve given them enough time, and they haven’t sorted it out, then yes you can- they must be provided an opportunity only, so it’s not an option for them to filibuster the process.

But it is a risk, and generally we avoid risks if we can. ‘They declined a request for a support person’ is a claim that can be explained and rebutted, but better to not have to explain it at all. So if you can reschedule, do so. But if you can’t, or you’re confident ample opportunity has been provided, then proceeding can be the best option.

Read here for more on why people sue.

-Proceed, with the option to adjourn. I do this a lot; ‘let’s proceed, but if you feel you do need someone with you, we can adjourn and reschedule’. As discussed above, most people can handle situations, can deal with conflict, but formal work situations are rare and unknown to most people. In short, they can handle, but worry they can’t. So the option to stop proceedings and get help if they want (not dissimilar to requesting a lawyer when speaking to the police), is reassuring. The reality? almost never happens. Most people can handle the difficult situation themselves, but the option of help if needed is reassuring.